Do You Have the Courage to be Vunerable?
by ALETHEIA LUNA / Loner Wolf
Vulnerability. We equate it with being naive, gullible and worst of all, weak. All throughout our lives, we are taught that the opposite state of being is not only preferable, but virtuous.
Being guarded, protected and insusceptible to the whims of life is praised not only as a virtue, but as the emotional and mental 'ideal' in our society. After all, who wants to get hurt? Who wants to be exposed and liable to any capricious thing that happens to us in life? The answer ... very few of us!
Embracing vulnerability, as I have discovered myself, opens many doors of opportunity. Without cracking the illusion of my perfect facade for example, I never would have been able to write for LonerWolf exposing my innumerable frailties and flaws.
The vulnerability paradox: It's the first thing I look for in you, and the last thing I want you to see in me. ~ Brene Brown
I wouldn't have been able to learn from that which shook, challenged and exposed me. And I wouldn't have been able to connect with, and create a sanctuary of acceptance and understanding for so many wonderfully flawed people.
To be vulnerable is to be courageous, for vulnerability stands defiantly in the face of fear, accepting the uncertainty of possible attack or compromise. To refuse or deny your own vulnerability is to close yourself off to life and all of its opportunities out of fear, not strength.
As stated by author Stephen Russel:
Vulnerability is the only authentic state. Being vulnerable means being open, for wounding, but also for pleasure. Being open to the wounds of life means also being open to the bounty and beauty.
Opening Yourself Up To Vulnerability "Why the heck would I want to make myself more vulnerable?" For many, this is the kind of knee-jerk reaction given to such a prospect. The truth is, there are many reasons why:
1. Cultivate personal confidence through love. One of the biggest reasons why people become shut-offs is due to their crippling lack of confidence and self-love. When we have little respect for ourselves, the criticism and judgement of others comes as huge shattering blows that severely cripple us. No wonder many of us despise vulnerability! The more self-love you cultivate, the more confidence you have in yourself and thus the easier it is to embrace vulnerability.
2. How people treat you is a reflection of how they treat themselves. Often times our displays of vulnerability are met with snide remarks, and hurtful evaluations. The truth is, the way we are treated by other people is a direct reflection of how they treat themselves. Good-natured people rarely treat others badly, and likewise, depressed and cranky people rarely treat others kindly. We can show forgiveness and move on once we realize this.
3. Let go of the need to control. I'm a control freak. There. I said it. How about you? To acknowledge and accept your imperfections, and let go of the need to control how others see you is an essential step in embracing vulnerability. Practicing non-resistance is difficult, but an essential life skill. You can read more about it here.
Vulnerability is an immense asset, and yet our current values and ideals in society portray it as undesirable and dangerous to our well-being. In reality, the oppositeis true: our vulnerability empowers us to love deeper and grow stronger.
Aletheia Luna is the author of "Old Souls: The Sages and Mystics of Our World" and "Quiet Strength: Embracing, Empowering and Honoring Yourself as an Introvert" and is the cofounder, editor and author of popular self-discovery website LonerWolf.com As a transformational mentor and holistic writer, she has helped to guide thousands of people all throughout the world on their paths of self-acceptance and wholeness. You can follow her work and private updates on Facebook and Goodreads. Published with the author's explicit written permission.
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